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23 February 2009 @ 06:41 pm
Guilty Friend. Guilty Sister. Guilty Daughter.  
I keep thinking I'm guilty of something? I don't know of what. It's like the guilt of being a bad friend, the guilt of being a bad sister, the guilt of being a bad daughter. I'm constantly feel like I am being such a bad person. Constantly disappointing people of my actions and decisions. Though no one dare tells me if they're pissed at me. But they tell other people... Or just keep it to themselves..
Which is what I do too. ha ha. Everyone wants to avoid a confrontation.

I've realized something about myself.. I don't think I'm an easy person to be friends with.
Because i expect soo much from people, more than they can give. And, for some reason.. I feel like I need more of what they give me.
Isn't that sad?

I'm a clingy character. or I used to? I used to cling to people.
ugh.. once i realized i did that, i tried to completely change how i acted.
'cause i hated seeing other people being needy. I don't like needy.
and that's how i was acting.
isn't that terrible? to hate the people that are you? does that make sense?

now i feel like i disappoint my friends, my sister, for not being there for them now.
i never call.
i never visit.
in my eyes, i am a bad friend, a bad sister.
and it hurts, 'cause i don't know why i can't just call this person up and say "hi".

well, i'm done rambling tonight..
 
 
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